Eggs and Melons

Dàjiā hǎo. Wǒ jīntiān de tímù shì dàn hé guā. Wǒ juéde Zhōngguózì hěn yǒu yìsi. Érqiě dàn hé guā liǎng gè zì fēicháng yǒuqù. Dàn kěyǐ chī, guā yě kěyǐ chī.  Xiān shuō guānyú dàn de cí. Yǒu jīdàn, yādàn, gēzidàn, hé qiǎokèlì dàn, dōu hěn hǎochī. Yě dōu yǒu dànbáizhì. Guā ne? Guānyú guā de cí yǒu dōngguā, xīguā, nánguā, hé Hāmìguā. Qíguài, dōng-xī-nán-běi zěnma méiyǒu běigua ne?  Guānyú dàn de xíngróngcí yǒu hǎodàn hé huàidàn. Màrén yě kěyǐ shuō bèndàn.  Guā ne? Méiyǒu hǎode xíngróngcí. Kěshì yòng guā lái màrén hěn fāngbiàn. Yīnwei màrén kěyǐ shuō bènguā hé shǎguā. Hǎo. Wǒ jīntiān shuōdào zhèli. Wǒ xīwàng dàjiā juéde wǒ shì gè hǎo dàn, ‘ér bùshi gè shǎguā. Xièxie dàjiā.

Hello everybody. My topic today is eggs and melons. I think Chinese characters are very interesting. And the two characters eggs and melons are especially interesting.  Eggs can be eaten, melons can also be eaten.  First I’ll talk about terms related to eggs. There are chicken eggs, duck eggs, quail eggs, and chocolate eggs, all very delicious. And they all have protein. And melons? Terms related to melons, there are winter melons, watermelons, pumpkins, and honeydew melons. Strange, East West North South, why are there no northern melons? [This is a pun, the names for melons in Chinese sound like the words for dōng-xī-nán-běi = East West South North].  Adjectives related to a eggs are good eggs and bad eggs. In cursing you may also say stupid egg.  And melons? There are no good adjectives. But using melons to curse people is very convenient. Because in cursing you may say stupid melon and silly melon.